THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW
By Lou Goldstein
I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY... I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT.
YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE THE VOICES ONLY TALK TO ME.
I HAVE A DEGREE IN LIBERAL ARTS...DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?
Here are a collection of miscellaneous tidbits of information sent to me through the years via of emails (from friends) ... word of mouth... or personal discoveries. I’m not vouching for the accuracy (or effectiveness)
of ALL of them… but then, who knows? Even if only one of them changes your life for the better... it would indeed be a “GOLD NUGGET”.
I’ve also included some comedy gems that, in my opinion, are definitely “Gold Nuggets”. If you don’t think they are funny… read the chapter…SO YOU HAVE AN OPINION.
By the way, this chapter will be updated on a regular basis because people just keep giving me these interesting tidbits... so you might check back every now and then.
AN INTERESTING OBSERVATION.
Stay with this -- the answer is at the end. It will blow you away.
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events.
The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.
The Grandfather replied, "Well, let me think a minute...
WHEN I WAS BORN…IT WAS BEFORE:
Television... Penicillin... Polio Shots...Frozen Foods...Xerox...Contact Lenses... Frisbees...The Pill...
Credit Cards...Laser Beams...Ball Point Pens...
Man had not yet invented:
Pantyhose...Air Conditioners...Dishwashers...Clothes Dryers
ALSO...It was before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.
WE NEVER HEARD... of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, Pizza Hut, or McDonald's.
AND...guys wearing earrings sometimes also wore dresses.
WE HAD 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents
Ice-cream cones... phone calls... rides on a streetcar and a Pepsi were all a nickel.
You could buy a new CAR for around $600... but who could afford one?
That was a shame... because gas was 11 cents a gallon.
IN MY DAY... "GRASS" was mowed, "COKE" was a cold drink, "POT" was something your mother cooked in.
"HARDWARE" was found in a hardware store and "SOFTWARE" wasn't even a word.
No wonder some people call us "old and confused" and talk about a generation gap.
HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM ?
I bet you have this very old man in mind....
You are in for a shock!
Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it... and pretty sad at the same time.
Are you ready ?????
This man would be only 59 years old.
SOME INTERESTING TIDBITS OF HELFUL INFORMATION.
BUT FIRST… A disclaimer. I do not guarantee that these will ALL work and urge you to proceed with caution when actually trying them. I am not saying they WONT work…I’m just sayin.
I have not personally tried all of these TIDBITS but for those I haven’t tried ... I will only say that the people giving them to me swear that they DO work.
If they are right then there are some really important and neat things ahead for you.
Eliminate ear mites. Put a few drops of Wesson Corn Oil in your CAT’S ear. Massage it in lightly… then clean with a cotton ball or soft clean rag. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and helps with the healing. This could be good…if you had a CAT. I wonder if it also would work with a racoon?)
If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car…kick out the BACK TAIL LIGHTS, stick your arm out the hole and start waving your hands wildly. The driver won’t notice anything but others will. This has saved lives.
If someone attacks you remember that the ELBOW is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it…use it to defend yourself.
Kills FLEAS instantly...Dawn Dishwashing Liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Good-bye fleas.
Did you know that drinking two glasses of Gatorade might relieve HEADACHE pain without the unpleasant side effects that could be caused by traditional pain relievers? You might also try to get a LIME and cut it in half. Then rub it on your forehead. This might also help.
Did you know that TOOTHPASTE makes an excellent salve for burns?
To open a SEALED envelope... put it in the freezer for a few hours. Then gently slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed. I’m just sayin.
Use empty toilet paper rolls to store APPLIANCE cords. It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to.
If you have a stuffed NOSE try chewing on a couple of strong Altoid’s peppermints. They just might clear up your stuffed nose.
Chewing GUM while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
A RAISIN dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
It is impossible to LICK your elbow!
Easy eyeglass protection... to prevent the SCREWS in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of CLEAR nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.
To remove a SPLINTER Just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue all over the splinter. Let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter will sometimes stick to the dried glue. It will also sometimes NOT stick to the glue. No harm no foul.
Unless you are allergic to ASPIRIN you can use one to take away the itch of a mosquito bite or bee sting. WET the aspirin and place it on the bite. It should give you instant relief. If you are allergic to aspirin you can use a plain old bar of SOAP . Dampen the bar of soap and rub it over the places you are itching.
You can crush a couple ASPIRIN and put it in a vase with water holding fresh flowers. It will keep the water clean and the flowers fresh.
To lubricate sticky doors and windows use a bar of SOAP or the stub of an old candle.
An old candle stub can also be used with squeaky doors. Carefully remove the hinges one at a time. Rub the candle wax all over the FIRST hinge and replace it. Do the same thing with the second hinge and replace it. Repeat the process with any remaining hinges. The squeak should be gone. DO NOT REMOVE ALL THE HINGES AT THE SAME TIME.
If you or someone in your family needs to take some really nasty tasting medicine, suck on an ICE CUBE for a minute before taking the medicine. It will freeze your taste buds and you won’t have that nasty taste when you take the medicine.
KEY RINGS have more uses than just holding keys together.
A key ring is a great substitute when you have a broken ZIPPER PULL for either a coat or a suitcase.
You can also save space in your closet by slipping a key ring over the head of a hanger... and then slip another hanger through the key ring.
Do you have a rusty bolt or other rusted metal surfaces? Pour a little COLA (not root beer or orange drink) on a scrubbing pad and use a little elbow grease to loosen the corrosion. The rust will go away.
Nail polish remover has a number of uses.
If you have some scuff marks on your TILE floors use a small amount of nail polish remover and a soft cloth to remove them.
Got your fingers stuck together due to a SUPER GLUE accident? Use a cotton swab and nail polish remover and lightly apply to unstuck them.
Nail polish remover can also be used to remove MAGIC MARKER ink from glass, steel or your skin.
Do you find yourself with an abundance of free address labels? You know the kind that you get in the mail along with a pitch to send money? Well, they're not just for envelopes. There are many other uses for them.
USE those labels if you need to give your address to a friend...fill out a form...filling out stubs... and for those raffle tickets.
Stick an address label on important items that you could easily misplace like your eyeglass case, keys, your cell phone, etc.
Place an address label to the bottom of a dish before you take it to a friend’s house. It makes it easy for your friend to identify YOUR dish when they are trying to return it.
You can use baby oil to get you out of some sticky household situations!
To remove a plastic bandage without pain and without leaving behind a sticky mess, use a cotton ball to cover the bandage with BABY OIL. Leave it for a minute and then easily remove the bandage.
Sticky zippers are no match for baby oil. Use a cotton swab to lightly coat both sides of the zipper. Then work the zipper back and forth several times. It'll work like new!
A plain old roll of masking tape can help with so many problems around your home, So keep plenty on hand.
If you're getting ready to move, masking tape is a handy tool. When you take pictures off of your wall... take the hook off of the wall and tape it to the back of the frame. This way when you get to your new home you won't have to go searching for hardware.
The same concept works for beds, tables and other furniture that you may have to disassemble before you move. Tape the screws and brackets to the piece so you know where they are. If there are a lot of pieces put them in a zip lock bag and tape the whole bag to the piece
Need to sew a tiny button onto a shirt. Tape the button to the fabric... it will hold it in place while you get the sewing started, then you can simply rip it away
Wrap some tape around the metal rim of a paint brush before you use it, the tape will prevent the paint from seeping up onto the rim, which is harder to clean. Simply peel the tape off when you're done.
Tape will also keep wood from splitting when you're cutting it. Simply lay some tape along your cut line and saw through the wood and the tape. Peel it off to reveal a nice clean cut!
Petroleum jelly, believe it or not, is useful all over the house.
Screw caps that get stuck can be so frustrating! Before you close them up,coat the rim with some petroleum jelly. The seal will be nice and tight, but easy to open the next time.
Use some petroleum jelly to coat the attachments on your vacuum cleaner. They'll slide easily on and off every time.
If you coat the inside of your candlesticks with some petroleum jelly before you burn a candle, the wax won't stick, and you won't have a mess to clean up.
Stick a birthday candle in a jar of petroleum jelly during a power outage and it will burn safely for hours.
Coat a squeaky hinge with some petroleum jelly for a great no-drip lubricant. The squeaks will be gone in no time.
If you have leather shoes, that have seen better days, rub some petroleum jelly sparingly onto the surface and then use a cloth to buff it out. The jelly will renew the leather. This works great on your kid's baseball gloves too.
If you get a ring stuck on your finger, grab the petroleum jelly. Rub it in and gently work the ring off of your finger. It should slide off easily.
Stubborn moisture rings on wood furniture can be removed with petroleum jelly. Spread it over the ring and let it sit overnight. The petroleum jelly will draw out the moisture that's causing the ring so that you can simply buff it to a shine in the morning.
Before you paint, rub a thin coat of petroleum jelly on your hands, paint won't stick and you'll be able to wash it off easily when you're finished.
Think twice before you pack up some old clothes and get rid of them.
Your old flannel PJ's can be cut into squares and used as cleaning cloths. They are soft and absorbent. They'll clean and polish beautifully.
Put old socks in your toolbox, slip sharp tools like chisels in to a sock to keep the tip sharp and your fingers safe... or use an old sock as a staining or waxing rag on your next project.
Old jeans can be used all over too. Try cutting off the legs and sewing together the bottom for a unique handbag or put a belt through the loops and you have an instant apron.
Rubber gloves will help you with more than simply scrubbing up, put them to use elsewhere.
Rubber gloves give you a great non-slip grip on everything from a stuck jar lid, to kids in the tub.
Cut the fingers off of an old pair of rubber gloves and slip them over the tops of mops and brooms. When you lean them against the wall they don't slip or make marks on the wall.
Or ... slip them over chair feet to protect the floors.
They're also great when slipped over the jaws of a wrench or pliers to prevent slipping or marring a surface
Cut the cuffs off a rubber glove to make a large-scale rubber band.
Before you pull rubber gloves on, coat your hands with your favorite hand cream, as you work the heat and lotion will work together to give you super-soft hands.
If you're having trouble getting your rubber gloves off just run them under cold water for a few seconds, and they'll come right off.
KEEP CHECKING BACK BECAUSE THIS CHAPTER WILL BE UPDATED WITH MORE "THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW" ON A REGULAR BASIS
See you next time,