HUMMERDINGERS
 


 

                                                        HUMMERDINGERS tm 
                                                                      By: Lou Goldstein

TO BEGIN WITH...

I want to introduce you to what I affectionately refer to as … Hummerdingers.

Here is a partial list ( I have thousands of them).

Why do I call them Hummerdingers?

I dunno. Maybe it's because whenever I say them… people look at me and say, "Hummmmm".

People, also usually smile and say things like, "cute", "funny", "cool", and "that really makes sense."

Hummerdingers are meant to amuse you, motivate you, entertain you, inform you... and at the very least make you stop and think.

They also can be used to impress co-workers at the office with your intuitive and creative mind. They can make you stand out as a bright and entertaining person at a social gathering. Hummerdingers can be used as impressive anecdotes to sharpen a speech or take control of a debate...and ...if you really think about it… I'm sure you can think of many other profound and constructive uses.

I will be using them to make a point from time to time… but they are also capable of standing all alone by themselves.

Here is the partial list. Please feel free to use them... only don't forget to let people know where you got them.

TAKE YOUR TIME…AS LONG AS YOU HURRY.

I'M VERY PATIENT…AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T TAKE TOO LONG.

WE SHOULD HAVE OUR OWN OPINIONS…OTHERWISE THERE WOULD BE NO ARGUMENTS.

DON'T ANNOY A PERSON THAT'S CRAZY.

YOU CAN'T BRING OUT BOTH SIDES OF AN ISSUE WITH A ONE-SIDED PERSON.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT SO KEEP YOUR DAMN MOUTH SHUT.
 
MEN HAVE FEELINGS TOO…BUT WHO REALLY CARES.

IF IT'S TOO LOUD…YOU'RE TOO OLD.
 
BY THE TIME YOU GET IT ALL TOGETHER…YOU'RE TOO OLD TO LIFT IT.
 
I'M NOT INSENSITIVE…I JUST SIMPLY DON'T CARE.

YOU ARE ENTITLED…TO YOUR WRONG OPINION.
 
YOU CAN TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS YOU JUST MIGHT NOT WANT TO WATCH HIM DO THEM.

WHY SHOULD YOU PAY A DOLLAR FOR A BOOKMARK..YOU SHOULD SIMPLY USE THE DOLLAR AS A BOOKMARK.

WHEN YOU HEAR SOMEONE SAY IT'S NOT ABOUT MONEY..IT'S ABOUT MONEY.

EVERYONE WANTS TO RIDE WITH YOU IN THE LIMO...WHAT YOU WANT IS SOMEONE WHO WILL RIDE WITH YOU IN THE BUS.

THE PROBLEM WITH ELECTIONS…IS THAT SOMEONE WINS.

WHEN DID MY WILD OATS…TURN INTO SHREDDED WHEAT?

GRANDMAS ARE JUST…ANTIQUE LITTLE GIRLS.

IT'S NOT THAT YOU ARE WRONG…IT'S JUST THAT YOU ARE NOT RIGHT.

IF IT WASN'T FOR ALCOHOL…THERE WOULD BE NO ALCOHOLICS.

THE IDEAL MARRIAGE WOULD BE BETWEEN A BLIND WOMAN AND A DEAF MAN.

IF IT WASN'T FOR MARRIAGE MOST MEN WOULD GO THROUGH LIFE
THINKING THEY HAD NO FAULTS AT ALL.

NEVER PLAY LEAPFROG WITH A UNICORN.

YOU SHOULD NEVER QUESTION YOUR SPOUSE'S JUDGEMENT.. JUST LOOK WHO THEY MARRIED.

A PERSON WHO CAN PASS GAS…IS NOT DEAD.

A MARRIAGE IS FALLING IN LOVE MANY TIMES..ALWAYS WITH THE SAME PERSON.

FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT ...THEN LEARN HOW TO DO IT.

OK, so there is a sampling of what I call  HUMMERDINGERS tm. I'll continue to include more in the future. That is, unless you ask me to stop. It won't do you any good...but you can ask if it makes you feel better.
 
See you next time,
 
Lou