SHOULD WE CONTROL OUR EMOTIONS?
 



TO BEGIN WITH...

THE MOST DEPRESSING THING ABOUT THE YOUNGER GENERATION… IS THAT I NO LONGER BELONG TO IT.
 
YOUR TEMPER IS ONE OF YOUR MOST VALUABLE POSSESSIONS … TRY NOT TO LOSE IT.
 
SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY… JUST DON'T SAY IT MEAN.

NEVER WRESTLE WITH A PIG…. YOU BOTH GET DIRTY AND THE PIG LIKES IT. 

                                              SHOULD WE CONTROL OUR EMOTIONS?
                                                                           By Lou Goldstein

The answer to that question is definitely…YES !
The answer to that question is absolutely…NO !

Both
answers are correct.

Our emotions refer to our moods, temperament and personality. They refer to the way we react to situations that occur in our lives.

Emotions are not to be confused with our feelings. We may “feel” angry but “emotions” are how we outwardly express that anger.

To let someone know we are angry towards them in a calm and reasonable manner is a whole lot different than yelling and cursing at someone. Should we control our emotions if we feel like yelling and screaming at someone when we are angry?
 
You bet we should !

When we “feel” sadness at a funeral of a loved one and our expression (emotion) of that sadness is to cry, should we try to control our emotions in this case. Not really.

Our emotions are a basic part of our mental being and are what contributes to what makes our lives worth living.
 
We display our emotions when we feel  anger, joy, fear, sadness, surprise, desire, hope, rage, anxiety, happiness, pain, pleasure, love, hate, panic and a whole bunch more.

When we are born we are encouraged to show our emotions because that was the way we communicated. Cry when we were hungry, uncomfortable or in pain. Smile and giggle when we were happy.

Then as we got older we began to get other messages. Don’t show anger, don’t be too loud when we were happy, don’t over react. If we are competing in a game and win it’s OK to “jump for joy” and give “high 5’s to your team mates.. but don’t gloat or trash talk to your opponents. In other words, express youremotions while at the same time…control your emotions.

Let’s say you own a business and need to handle a complaint from a customer. Before communicating with that customer you need to think first about “what you want to happen.”

Don’t think “I don’t want to get angry with this customer.” Instead think “I want to remain calm and level headed no matter what happens."
 
Don’t think that “I hope that I don’t have to make refund.” Instead think that “I want to figure out a solution that will be beneficial to all parties.”

Don’t think that “I hope this will not take much time.” Instead think “I want to take care of this efficiently and courteous no matter how long it may take."
 
What you are doing in this situation and …should try to do in any situation… is to think ahead of how you want things to go and then react and take action.

Are you controlling your emotions constructively or are you being controlled by your emotions?

Emotions are there for us and make our life more interesting. You don’t want to be without any emotion. However, we also have to understand that too much of anything is not good. Sometimes it is good to allow our emotions to take over and help us take action or make a decision and sometimesit is better that wetemper or control our emotions.

We all really know what we should do. We know that we shouldn’t yell and scream at someone when are upset. The question is how do we take control of our emotions before it is too late?

When you find yourself in a situation that calls for you to react and you have a strong “feeling” about the matter… you must immediately identify the issue…and think about what you want the final outcome to be. Think about why he/she is feeling the way they are…and “what would make him/her feel better.”

By observing the situation objectively you give yourself a better chance of having a positive outcome.

If you let your emotions take control you will have a problem even identifying what the problem is.
 
It now becomes easier to deciding how to respond and what kind of action to take (what is the best way to respond to this).

By controlling our emotions when we need to, combined with a calm demeanor, it gives us the opportunity to arrive at asolution to the problem.

Is this easy to do? NO !  Does it make you a better person if you can? YES !  Is it possible for you to do? ABSOLUTELY !

All you need to do is to talk to yourself andconvince yourself that…. you will. Then continue to reinforce your commitment to doing it every day.
 
It’s like stopping smoking. We all know that it is unhealthy to smoke. In fact, smoking can kill us. Some people can stop smoking while others find themselves unable to stop. It’s called will power.
 
We all have the ability to do it if we really want to. So, what I am saying is … JUST DO IT.

Controlling our emotions is just a matter of habit. The more you do it,the easier it becomes. You might not always succeed but as long as you keep trying the more natural it becomes.

Don’t misunderstand. Controlling your emotions does not mean that youignore them. It simply means that you recognize them and act on them when you feel it is necessary.

See you next time,
 
Lou